Surefire indicators You Were A 2000s Gay Teen On longer Island since told by the resident extended isle Lesbian,
Dayna Troisi.

Spray tans. MTV’s « Place Raiders. » Having an inexplicable crush on Janis Ian. Striking your own tongue in another person’s cellar surrounded by Happy Bunny prints. Constantly caught between getting emo and guidette. Acquiring shoved into lockers.

All of these things compose the strangely certain experience with becoming a homosexual teen on
Lawng Isle
during the early 2000s. There seemed to be surely some thing within the water on
Extended Island
, because there are even more homosexuals than
nail salons
. I’m sure this is certainly hard to believe, as suburbia is often an old-fashioned wasteland, but that’s what they need you to definitely believe. In reality, we have been gay as hell. All my
and greatest buddies tend to be queers from Island of extended.

Very, if no one else relates to this number, I know you spray-tanned, sauce-eating, fist-pumping gays gets it. Enjoy and please give the graduating course and move my
insta handle
into lesbians who escaped their particular hometowns and then make over six numbers now.

Listed below are 131 indications that you were a Long Island
gay teenager
from inside the 2000s. Indeed, this record is loooong because the audience is added AF– the lashes and listings are hella lengthy– they do not state « lengthy isle » for absolutely nothing.


. You had a GSA in your high school

And also you advertised you’re simply an « ally. »

2. you’d homosexual cybersex in AOL chatrooms


3. You had a key Myspace page

The place you signed up with lesbian teams and had extreme connections together with other queer kids littered across The united states.

4. You secretly viewed
« The L Word »
and frantically flipped back to Nickelodeon every time you heard your mom’s footsteps drawing near to

The reflexes had been on point because of the remote control.

5. You
this dark doll

Long Island gays are always incredible between the sheets caused by these.

6. You used to be suspiciously great at ingesting these

7. You thought the lengthy isle Medium would view you inside grocery store and out one your whole family members

8. Unattractive
right women
insisted you’d a crush in it

Just as if.

9. You had an all-consuming crush on a punk elderly

Mine had a fohawk and used safety pins as earrings.

10. « The Perks Of Being A Wallflower » rocked your globe

And also in that time, we swear we had been



11. You wore
black colored lipstick

Because understanding becoming queer without subverting ~norms~?

12. You used to be darkly enthusiastic about Sylvia Plath

Im. Im. I’m. GAY.

13. The English instructor was actually the best buddy



14. facts Or Dare was your preferred sleepover game

You have not lived in the event that you did not attempt to bribe the best pal into daring one to hug your crush.

15. You were inexplicably aroused of the sound of mac ‘n’ mozzarella cheese existence stirred

Admit it.

16. You had a wonderful gay guy BFF

Which lowkey is actually too cool off obtainable today, works in style, and hangs down with a gaggle of directly types.

17. You mightn’t decide if you wanted to-be Avril Lavigne or carry out the woman

a tie seemed dreadful on me, thus I realize i recently desired to sleep together with her.

18. You had been throughout the
softball group
, or if you are a traditional, unsporty lez just like me, the program choir

19. You’re about argument staff

And always argued pro-choice.

20. You listened to Regina Spektor and Kate Nash

21. You performed an obscure monologue inside the skill tv show

Mine had gotten me suspended.

22. You had secret rendezvous for the women’ restroom

No kiss is ever going to measure on the thrill from the high-school bathroom kiss.

23. You participated in « day’s Silence »

As an « ally, » however.

24. You’re


afraid of being outed your moms and dads

We arrived on the scene to my personal mom on gyno, because I ridiculously worried she’d inform my mommy I had a LESBIAN snatch.

25. You had no gender education and possess never made use of a
dental dam

Sorry to all you sex instructor women whom decided to go to Smith university. I assume you shouldn’t rest with a lengthy isle lez?

26. You went to Warped trip or Bamboozle

And dressed in Jac Vanek and TWLOHA jelly bracelets.

27. And asked band users from Cobra Starship to sign the human body components

Gabe Saporta finalized my boob, and my mother took out my personal AIM membership.

28. You viewed gay shit on
and stated it was any sort of accident and a college task

29. You’ve got huge acrylic
because not even homosexuality could possibly get in the form of an extended isle women’s beauty program

Lesbian fail, but manner victory.

30. You stained sprinkle brown throughout some sporty lesbians sheets the first occasion you installed

Sorry about this.

31. You self


had gender inside bra as you were wearing a bombshell push-up bra from Victoria’s key

All our boobies seemed two sizes bigger than they actually happened to be ’cause of these silly bras. I found myself a 36E with one, and I also appeared as if a demented pervy cartoon.

32. You seriously wanted to be on
Jersey Shore

33. You probably didnot have to sit to go to a girl’s home

The one thing that makes it SO MUCH easier to cultivate up

34. residence events had been filled up with underground homosexual debauchery

The cellar is where the gay shit occurs.

35. You looked to find out if the ring finger had been longer than the pointer little finger to ascertain if perhaps you were actually a lesbian

Since you heard it you privately saw « The L keyword. »

36. Or took « was we gay? » quizzes

I unequivocally knew I was homosexual at 13 yrs . old because Quizilla said I was.

37. You


homosexual content material on that dark web site
Ebaums Industry

38. Whenever youtube was created, you sweatily explored « girls kissing » on your own family members’ computer in the middle of the evening

Which directed to…

39. You downloaded porn to Quicktime (this was pre-Pornhub, youngins!)

40. You’d to
push men to prom
, but nonetheless slept with a girl that evening

41. Your body fought somebody who flirted together with your girl at least one time

You’re not from longer Island for those who haven’t punched your ex during the face at Pride.

42. You had been hopelessly crazy about a
straight lady
exactly who skateboarded

43. You had to attend « religion class »

The highlight of my personal high-school profession was actually obtaining fingered inside the chapel restroom.

44. « everything She stated » by t.A.T.u. was the crap

45. You smoked smokes within beach in winter within auto

And thought you had been therefore cool and alt.

46. You drove twenty minutes to attend the drive-thru Dunkin’

While there was a walk-in one all the way down the block.

47. You drove couple of hours receive Sonic in nj

When you haven’t caught on, indeed there actually wasn’t much doing.

48. You drove as the only supply of enjoyable

Are you observing a pattern right here?

49. You kept reading about LIGALY while once you understand you’d instead perish than step base in LIGALY

Also loser closeted kids on Long isle have requirements. We planned to party in a dark club, not consume stale donuts in a residential district middle.

50. You owned a Ryan Cassata CD

That you bought as he checked out the GSA.

51. You h

advertising a crush on a lady just who visited a catholic college

52. You « hated » your own mother but spent every single day along with your mommy

The family codependency is actually actual.

53. You skipped junior prom

We spent junior prom ingesting at warm’s utilizing the various other gays.

54. You centered so very hard on the ground inside locker area you very nearly decrease over

Jesus forbid a female believes you’re observing the woman education bra.

55. May Die If Not Dressed In Converse

56. You received tattoos around yourself (because cutting ended up being also extreme)

We had been as well protected and responsive to cut.

57. You went to Hot Topic after that left because you got unnerved

Since there ended up being usually a hot dyke operating on sign-up, but you weren’t edgy sufficient on her.

58. You happened to be in addition as well afraid to give Abercrombie or Hollister

Given that it was actually dark colored and smelly inside — and since you used to be wildly keen on the softball lez greeting adolescents at the door.

59. And that means you bought rainbow


regarding the DL at Spencer’s

60. « Hairstyles for the Damned » rocked your world

Every queer child check this out on shuttle.

61. So performed « The Catcher Within The Rye »

And so, you turned into teacher’s pet.

62. You confided in your pet dog, cat, or hamster

because nobody otherwise ~got you~

63. You had close friends necklaces from Claire’s with a girl you ended up dating

64. You published committing suicide notes as a spare time activity

With zero goal of ever soon after through, you only like, needed the *release.*

65. You may have an incredibly morbid, dark, and politically incorrect spontaneity

See 64.

66. It’s not possible to stay Social Justice Warriors.

Long Islanders have no perseverance for buzzwords.

67. You completely tend to be unlearning all of your f*cked upwards prejudices, though.

Becoming homosexual does not prompt you to exempt from that.

68. You’re enthusiastic about 3oh!3.

Tell your date, if he states he’s had gotten meat, that I’M A VEGAN, AND I ALSO AIN’T F*CKING SCARED OF HIM.

69. You browse to flee a grim real life, but you only finished up reading guides about younger homosexual teenagers becoming hate-crimed in any event

Or you were hate-crimed to be a loser just who reads.

70. You utilize « hate criminal activity » as a colloquialism.

71. You purchased

a « gay street » sign up the field visit to the metropolis

And hid it in your cabinet.

72. You installed a delight flag in your locker and took a Myspace image along with it

73. You had a DeviantArt membership

Mine sadly still is available.

74. You felt really significantly that you relate solely to Matthew Shepard and Laramie Wyoming while having nothing in accordance excluding being homosexual

Therefore starred in « The Laramie Project, » guided by your strange drama instructor.

75. You have made insensitive jokes pertaining to « The Laramie Project » as if you had beenn’t laughing, you had been weeping.

My personal best friend and I also still get hysterical anytime we state « the shining lighting of Laramie. »

76. You had your own yearbook and guessed the person you believed had been gay too

77. You’re in a love-hate union with your music instructors

78. You considerably seemed the actual shuttle screen with regards to rained

79. You knew every range to hire


80. You played 7 Minutes In Heaven at an all-girls sleepover


81. You keep in mind being very desperately disappointed you weren’t welcomed with the all-girls sleepover the place you’re CERTAIN they played 7 Minutes In Heaven


82. You pretended to be scared during terror films to keep your friend’s hand

Oldest secret within the publication, babes.

83. You consumed your sorrows in Elio’s Pizza when you had gotten home from softball practice

Even though there are 10 amazing pizzerias in a two-mile distance of your house.

84. You had a Nextel walkie-talkie cellphone

Tegan and Sara
was the faith

86. P!nk

ended up being your misunderstandings

Missundaztood nevertheless slaps.

87. You drastically cried in your room playing « face »

And even though your house existence was actually in fact fairly amazing plus mommy was a student in the kitchen generating sauce while your father was strolling the dog you ~swore~ you had handle.

88. You transported a skateboard around but couldn’t actually skate

89. You transported cigarettes around but didn’t in fact smoke cigarettes

I forced my ex to carry cigarettes every-where to look hard.

90. You did anything to prevent gym course

Luckily for us, i’ve a disability. Different gays needed to acquire more imaginative.

100. You mentioned you were bi

You happened to be really gay once the time is very long.

101. You went along to
Fire Island
every summertime without actually ever knowing it was actually gay middle

HOW performed I maybe not understand I became thus near to a lot of dykes?

102. You totally knew exactly what your health instructor was making reference to whenever she mentioned the girl roomie

I got the greatest crush to my health teacher.

103. You wore rainbow sweatbands


104. You spent weekends drinking around dusty home fitness equipment in somebody’s basement

You had beenn’t cool enough to drink in vehicle parking a lot you consumed next to your mommy’s Gazelle.

105. You obsessively curated your myspace top 8

106. You diverted the attention from the your self by making fun of someone else for the locker room


107. You begged your mother to get you shit from advertisements

108. You binged on awful treats like Cosmic Brownies and Kool-Aid after class

109. You played those Barbie dress-up games online so you might take their clothing off

You filthy perv.

110. You corrupted your next-door neighbors by simply making almost all their Sims flirt with girls

111. You kissed girls as a « game » as you were « acting »

112. You viewed « Boys You should not Cry » due to the fact sole gay content in GSA and had been scared back in the cabinet just a little

113. Then chances are you viewed « But i am a Cheerleader » and had gotten much more frightened

114. If you are fortunate, you had one
queer aunt
which stayed in Ny and provided you hope.

115. You intensely masturbated to MTV songs video clips

I’ll most likely never forget the first time We watched the « Genie In A Bottle » movie.

116. The cool girls whom bullied you’ve got multiple children and work with a



Hey! I know wen’t spoken in some time. How could you be girl?! had been wanting to know if you were into learning more and more Mary Kay?

117. You viewed « After that » together with the home shut since it was actually a bisexual occurrence


118. You snuck peeks of titties through the 18+ section of the movie store

119. You viewed Scrambled Porn Channel on route 99

120. You practiced the heartbreak of being during the shopping center and watching directly partners holding arms and experience that way will not be your

121. You’ve got away with creating call at the hallway because educators didn’t wish to be implicated of detest crime-ing you

122.  You w

atched « Donnie Darko » with queer art kids and


to adore it to squeeze in

The F*CK ended up being up with that film?

123. You had written I <3 **** on your own notebooks

Because you had been too frightened to really compose your crush’s title.

124. You cherished « Twilight »

Or thought a smug sense of superiority for hating it.

125. You had devastating anxiety on
Nationwide Coming Out Day

126. You probably believed the fear of goodness if the parents talked about gay individuals

127. You burned CDs with custom playlists for girls you had crushes on

128. You dated a girl with an eating disorder

129. You dated a woman while having your eating condition but hers was actually more serious so that you was required to focus on that

Told you very long Islanders have actually unsuitable senses of wit.

130. You used men’s room


to attract the


131. You obviously have actually a lot of repressed traumatization, and you are realizing it as you’re causeing this to be listing

You can’t stop cackling along with your best friend who you survived every thing with.

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